Belief Systems Part 2: To Be, Or Not To Be?

Here we are in the center of the first world
It's laid out before us, who are we to break down?
Everyday we wake up, we choose love, we choose light
And we try, it's too easy just to fall apart...
Oh my baby don't be so distressed
Were done with politesse
It's time to be so brutally honest about
The way we know we long for something fine
When we pine for higher ceilings
And bourgeois happy feelings
The Submarines


In order to get anything that we may want in life, we need to find motivation. In order to live at all, we need to have some motivation to do so. And motivation is something I have struggled with. It has often been the case for me that if I cannot see directly how doing one thing will lead to something good- and furthermore, why that something good is, in fact, good- I have trouble getting myself to take action in the first place. And when you get down to asking the most basic of questions- Why do we want what we want? What makes something good? What’s the point of it all, anyway?- the answers you settle on may not always be the ones you’d hoped they would be.

The purpose of this post is to figure out how to find motivation, purpose, and meaning, even when we can’t force ourselves to believe what we’d like to believe. For even in our deepest and most sober moments of despair, we will desire a reason to go on. I won’t be going into too much detail trying to convince anyone to believe what I believe, but will just be acknowledging different beliefs about our existence, with, at best, a very brief overview of how one comes to believe that, and direction to further reading in the event you’re interested. But all things considered, this post is for me, to serve, if nothing else, as an archive of the work I did to try and figure out life through my early 20s.

First things first: Is there a God? If you’re essentially convinced that there is, and you can find any belief system that works for you, you’re set. Whether your purpose is to serve God, to help others, or even if you choose to worship Satan and harm others, the fact remains: If you have a basic idea of what this being wants from you, you have a purpose. Your exact purpose may remain unclear to you, but at least you know that you have one to search for.

What about those of us who aren't so sure? Or, for that matter, feel convinced that there isn't a God? This means that when you die, it's over. You have kids, loved ones that lived on... but it's not like you're anywhere you can appreciate it. And besides, they'll die too. Within a few hundred years- an incomprehensibly insignificant period of time in the grand scheme of things- not even your most direct descendants will know or care about you any more than you do your grandfather's grandfather. Even for George Washington, the second he died, he didn't care about his legacy. He lived an entire lifetime, full of thoughts, emotions, and actions far more significant than anything the rest of us will ever do, and it all led up to those final moments where maybe, if he was lucky, he got the chance to reflect and feel good about himself. And those moments led directly into every moment since then, when he hasn't felt or thought a single thing. No matter who you are, your life is a series of moments where you feel some type of significance, and when you die that feeling will be gone, and from that moment forward you will feel absolutely nothing and not care about anything, in a way that none of us can possibly comprehend.

Faced with such a possibility, there are two common reactions. Perhaps most common is to say, “Well, maybe not, and there is an afterlife. No use worrying about it, we'll find out eventually” and move right along. But you should at least be aware that the possibility of nothingness- a possibility that I might venture you know is more likely than you let on- is going to haunt you from time to time. The other common reaction is, “Yeah, so nothing really matters, but I guess we may as well enjoy the time we're here.” But if you stop there, know that you are likely to be haunted, from time to time, by the question, “But how can I enjoy it when it's so meaningless?”

Or maybe you won't be haunted, I don't know, but I was, so I decided to try and deal with that issue of, “In the fairly likely event that at some point I will be useless, meaningless, and not I nor anyone else will care in the slightest that I ever existed, what's the point of doing anything?” Apathy at it's finest.

So the first question, at this point, is what are we if not creations of God? Okay, so there was the big bang, the universe operates according to some set of laws, and there's evolution. So we evolved, just like other animals. We are an animal. The most advanced, obviously, because of consciousness, but we are an animal nonetheless. So first things first, the lives of all animals must be at least as meaningless as ours, and they just don't know it. Well- just to interject some optimism into this post- if you were to watch a dog being born, live it's whole life, have puppies, watch those puppies grow up, have more puppies, would you feel that the initial dog's life is meaningless? Just because that dog wasn't there to care about all of his descendants doesn't mean his life was without meaning or purpose. So this kind of puts into perspective that perhaps our feeling of meaninglessness simply comes out of being completely self-centered.

But then again, why not be self-centered? I am myself. I care about what I care about, and if I can't be there to care, then to me, it doesn't matter. …. Alright, I didn't even plan it that way, but after the dog's life analogy, that just sounds absurdly selfish. Like you'd have to have absolutely no perspective to actually feel that way. But nonetheless, I know that I have felt that way, and will in the future, so I'll continue...

I think what leads me to sometimes feel that way is essentially this line of thinking: Okay, so we are a product of evolution. Each person has genes, and a brain. Once we're born, our brain, guided by our genes, leads us to take all that we experience as inputs, and causes us to act a certain way. And gene evolution is important to this as well. For example, it is very likely that the reason we tend to believe in God, the reason we generate feelings of a higher purpose, of a sense of self, of wanting love and sex and children, the reason we feel any happiness at all- is because the genes that promote these things won out over the genes that don't. All of those feelings help us to live. The genes that lead us to feel that “life is good, love is real, there is beauty all around us” are in no way more correct than genes that lead us to feel “Everything is ugly, I hate everyone, and I may as well kill myself.” These are all equally valid statements in that life is little more than the playing out of the battles of randomly formed genes. It's just that those “positive” genes won out in battle because they're conducive to living. But let's inject another positive comment: This also means feelings of hate are no more correct than feelings of love. And one could easily argue that the person spreading love is simply doing a better job at living.

(For more information on how our evolution and genes have led us to become the way that we are, and thus for a better idea of what we really are as humans, I recommend “The Moral Animal” by Robert Wright.)

But I digress, we're not out of the woods of depression yet. It's the feeling of a lack of control that gets to a lot of people. So basically our whole reason for living is that “life genes” are beating out the other genes? The reason I fall in love is because evolution necessitates that it feels really good to find someone to assist me in allowing my genes to live on? Well yes, that is perhaps the most likely possibility. Every feeling you have serves the agenda of your genes in some way or another. That feeling that you have that you're in control of your own life? That's an illusion. It's your brain tricking you, because if you knew that you didn't have control, you wouldn't function as well. There have been studies that show while identical twins may turn out to be very different people, they tend to either both believe in God, or both not believe in God. It's not some decision we make, we all just have different genes that incline us to believe in God to some degree or another. This goes for just about everything. If you look at our genes as knobs, tuned up high, low, or kept in the middle- we're all just creatures with different tunings. Some have genes for leadership and happiness turned up high, and some very low. You really think you somehow chose to be happy while other people chose to be sad, or vice versa? That's just how it turned out. You've been inclined since birth in one direction or another, and on some matters your knob is turned so far that you'll never be able to really change it. The mentally ill are just people whose knobs are turned in such a way that the person is no longer functional in society.

And do you even have any degree of control at all? Determinism is accepted by many of the greatest minds as perhaps the most likely correct theory. With no soul, or “self” that is separate from the body, what are we left with? We are born with our various knobs and tunings. We are wired a certain way. Then from the second we enter the world, our brain is taking in inputs. Our wiring accepts all inputs in a certain way, and then tells you how to act. Just like a computer. Even if what's happening is a million times more complex, you don't have any more control over what your code + the inputs turns into output any more than a computer does. Every thought you have, the feeling that you are making a choice right now about whether or not you are going to finish this sentence, all your subsequent evaluation, consideration of alternatives, and every single conscious and subconscious thought or action you make for the rest of your life is simply reactionary. Initial code + all inputs up until this moment generate all outputs at this moment. Just a brain, like a piece of meat, generating thoughts and feelings that you credit as somehow “your own”, despite the fact that all we are is a brain+body. Yes, that is a very real possibility. If it doesn't feel right to you, know that the way the brain works is that once it gets used to one way of doing things- one thought pattern- the connections get stronger. If you've always believed in free will, you're wired to input this text in such a way that will lead you back to believing in free will. And no, the fact that we can even consider this option, and use the brain to think about the brain, doesn't change anything. The brain doesn't have an agenda to keep us from figuring out how it operates. It doesn't have any agenda at all, of course. It simply is. It has a certain way of functioning, just like anything else in the universe.... but it's all, essentially, reactionary.

(For more information on how the brain works, why it generates the feelings that it does, and for a bit of humility about the idea that you could completely understand or be certain about anything, read “On Being Certain” by Robert Burton.)

However, my conclusion about the idea of determinism, then, is that it is irrelevant. According to determinism, if there were to be an omniscient being, it would be able to correctly predict everything that will ever happen. But there's not. And even if there was, it wouldn't change the fact that whether we have free will or not, we feel like we do. Everything we do uncontrollably feels like a choice. There's no getting around that. Even if you accept determinism and sit around and do nothing, you'd have to admit that by doing so you're just fruitlessly trying to assert some kind of sense of self that you don't even believe in. And you won't be able to get rid of the feeling that you are making a choice... so I say just deal with it and start feeling like you're making choices that lead to happiness rather than depression.

And, it is certainly possible that even if we are just a brain and a body, that the brain is so complex that in a way it does allow for free will. Basically this would mean that the brain has some kind of control center, where decisions are made. This implies that the brain, or some part of it, is the “self”. So while it may be that the feeling that we are something more than our biology is an illusion, this doesn't necessarily mean that our biology doesn't still make us a person with control over our own lives. This is one of the greatest questions facing scientists these days.

Finally, there is a point I have yet to mention that must always, always be kept in mind once you do decide to delve into these topics. And, somewhat ironically, it is the same point that made you hesitant to worry about all of this in the first place: We don't know. And to get a better understanding of that fact, read the book “On Being Certain”. We are built to feel like we're right even when we're not. Most, perhaps all, of our decisions, actions and beliefs are based off of our feelings. Taking in new information, new experiences, attempts at open-mindedness, even the use of reason- these things all help in the quest to hone our decision making, but in the end you decide on what feels right to you. And what feels right to you is just that- a feeling that your brain has settled on. Did reading about alternative beliefs in this post get you to change or re-think any of your beliefs? If not, does that mean that they're in some way less accurate than your beliefs? Or did I just not present them in a way that really had a chance at persuading you? The point is that your feeling of being right hardly makes your beliefs a fact, so be careful in how far you go with acting on that feeling.

Perhaps for those that believe in God, all it would take is just the right series of events to get them to change their mind. Perhaps if enough terrible things happen to them, eventually, they'll give up. Eventually the brain will have enough doubts, and enough contrary evidence that it stops thinking in terms of His existence. It is only when something happens to make the person feel differently that they will change their mind. And if you're an atheist, even an extremely well-educated one, does that mean nothing could happen to change your mind? Are you sure that if just enough things went right, and enough pro-God inputs came into your brain you wouldn't start to think, “you know what, maybe the idea of God isn't such an absurd possibility.” And so as I alluded to in Part 1, I think that if you're somehow absolutely convinced one way or the other on these issues (God, determinism, countless others) then you're pretty darn self-righteous about how evolved your brain is compared to everyone else's.

And so, of course, if I'm going to say that, I must admit that everything in this entire post could be wrong in some way or another. And in fact I do. I can only think in terms of what my biology (and/or God) allows me to... and I'm sure that my beliefs will continue to change over time. Furthermore, I can't rule out the possibility, however slim, that there's another creature in the universe with a completely different biology that in some way or another has everything figured out, and couldn't even explain a single bit of it to me if he tried. It's simply impossible to imagine what it's answers might be. Simply put, we don't know what we don't know.

So now, this has been a very long post, thanks for reading. But I have to get back to the initial point here in order to make a conclusion. In the end, I believe that all you can do is try to consider as many factors as you can, then believe what you believe. So what do you do when what seems right to you is that there is no afterlife, one day it will all be nothingness, and as determinism states we don't even really have control of our time here?

Well for one, stop being so egocentric and selfish. Just because you don't see the point for yourself doesn't mean there isn't one.

Secondly, know that you could be wrong, and you don't understand everything. There is always hope, and you can use that to your advantage.

But nevertheless you feel that you have the most likely answer, and you can't just shake that feeling. Well, as I said earlier, you will always feel that you have a choice, to some degree or another, even if rationally you don't believe that you do. So I say (perhaps only in hopes that it will trick your brain into being happier) make the choices that feel better. It is easy to say that it is pointless to do anything, and pointless to have a positive attitude. But not doing anything, or being negative, is no more correct. If you believe in nothing, you can't believe in right and wrong. A nihilist, goth kid, or anyone who says that everything is pointless, surely must think there is some point to not doing anything, or to anarchy. If you kill yourself, you must think there is a point to killing yourself. So it pisses you off that other people are ignorant and happy while you are knowing and depressed... what's the point of being angry? If the good is pointless, realize that the bad and everything else is just as pointless. So if you have a choice of life or no life... why not life? And if you have the choice of enjoying life or not enjoying life... why not enjoy it? If you have any kind of ideas of what is good and what is bad... why not encourage the good? Even if all life comes down to is the question of “why not?”... why not make a decision on the matter? And as long as you're making one, why not make it a good one? Infinite possibilities of feelings and experiences are open to us... why not take advantage? Seriously, you have a better idea?

So it has come to be my belief that pretty much no matter what you believe, your best options are to enjoy life and to do good. Fortunately, the two tend to go hand in hand.

Figure out who you are, who you want to be, who you can be, and act accordingly.

And yeah, maybe most of us are already doing that, but like I said in the beginning, sometimes I just need to find the motivation.

(For more information on enjoying life, a couple good books are Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman and Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

Belief Systems: Part 1- How Thought-Out Are Your Beliefs?

Think of what you're saying, 
You can get it wrong and still think that it's alright.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out and get it straight or say goodnight.
We can work it out.
The Beatles


There is no tangible value to a belief system. Doing a thorough investigation, taking in all available information and perspective that you reasonably can, and coming to a conclusion on what we are, why we’re here, and how can we make the best of our lives- then constantly adapting your best answers as new information and perspectives arise- is not an activity that is directly valued in our society. If you are going to work for the church, it may help you, but even those jobs only really require knowledge of, “If there is a God, what does he want?” But generally speaking, no one really cares what you believe. And those that do don’t really care that much, they’re just willing to listen to it when they’re not doing something more important with their own lives- like, say, going to get their nails done, or watching a football game.

So it’s no mystery why there aren’t a whole lot of people spending a lot of time making sure that their beliefs about all the big questions are well-informed, thoughtful, consistent, etc. But for those who do spend the time, I doubt any would trade it back for hours of TV watching, or even reading intelligent, enjoyable fiction. There are feelings of clarity, understanding, and purpose that arise out of doing research into the meaning of life. These feelings better equip us to handle all issues (big, small, tangible, intangible), and also give us the tools to avoid the feelings of a life wasted, or emptiness. Additionally, it is my belief that the more people get a feel for what’s actually happening in this crazy world, and what it’s all about, there will be more tolerance, open-mindedness, compassion and goodness, and less of their opposites. Furthermore, it is perhaps the only way for a person to really feel the purpose of their life, rather than just being aware that they may or may not have one. And once you feel that, you can fully realize the value of your time here, and the need to make the most of it. 

Of course, you would have to share some of my beliefs to agree with that… and if you don’t agree with it already, well, this is certainly not the place to try to convince you. Actually, the purpose of this post is simply to shed light on the fact that most of us don’t have a well-informed belief system.

There are a lot of people in the world who “sort of” believe in God. They think there probably is one, but they’re not really sure. There are also a lot of people who don’t really think there’s a God, but of course can’t rule out the possibility.

Well, I think that’s fine, you don’t need to pick a side. In fact I don’t think a person can reasonably be 100% either way, for reasons I will get into in Part 2. But I will say that if you want to feel that you have purpose to your life, it may be important to really figure out what you do believe. If you were just religious as a kid, then became skeptical, but then also have these feelings of God inside you, so you just kind of hover in the middle ground, that’s not a personal belief system. That’s just subscribing to various degrees to other people’s belief systems. I think you either have to make the decision that “Yes, there is probably be a God, so I am going to live in accordance with that,” or “No, there’s probably not a God, so I need to find a reason to live in spite of that.” The important thing is, even if you somehow end up at 50/50 on the matter: develop your own values to live by, don’t just assign percentage likeliness to how right other people’s beliefs feel to you.

I see a lot of people who, to some degree or another, seem to say, “Well I don’t really think you can know, so I won’t commit to either, and basically am just gonna do whatever I want in life.” I personally think that those people are just being lazy. And that’s fine, because such issues aren’t as important to some people as they are to others. I would just ask that those people don’t try to claim that they are somehow making an informed decision.

An appropriate comparison can be made to our political views. There are people who really know a lot, people who do some investigation but aren’t exactly pursuing knowledge with a passion, and people who don’t really bother with anything more than a general overview of each side.

If someone doesn’t do a whole lot of reading about world affairs and politics, they may be comfortable saying, “I know both sides make a lot of good points, and I tend to lean towards thinking the democrats are probably better.” This person has the right to not care enough about politics to make a well-informed decision. But if you’re someone who knows that you are much better informed than that person, well, even if you agree with them, you’re not going to let them claim that they are making a well-informed decision. Nor will you hold their opinion as highly as someone who you know thoroughly researches the topic.

There are no definite right answers in politics, just as there are no definite right answers about the meaning and nature of life. But on both topics there are infinite degrees of well-informed opinions. And "I don't really know but am leaning this way" tends to fall on the low end.

So I say that unless you have done passionate investigative research into the science-religion debate (and I’m talking about reading entire books and thoroughly understanding the latest scientific evidence/viewpoints and how intelligent religion accounts for it- not just reading the Wikipedia summary of each belief system) don’t go around claiming that your belief system is just as well established as everyone else’s.